Solo Dating: The Psychology and Benefits Behind the Phenomenon
- Gwyneth Lor
- May 27, 2023
- 3 min read
Not gonna lie, the first time I had truly taken to account this phenomenon and decided to apply it into my life, came from an Instagram story by the Instagramer known under the name Mr. Only Words. By happenstance, during a casual scroll through my feed, the influencer presented his own gesture of treating himself to a meal in outdoors. A lightbulb lit up in my head, and I was immediately inspired to do the same. Why don't I treat myself to a solo date? Needless to say, I hadn't been feeling the best at the time and was stuck at an impasse, finding it difficult to dig my way out of this melancholy. Within the next few hours, I treated myself to just that. A solo date, and boy, did I feel amazing afterward.

This experience left me feeling even more empowered and content. I recovered my own agency and got rid of any self-doubt. In a world so saturated with social media, and neverending speed, it seemed only about time that more people, especially the gen z and Millennial population, implement such a phenomenon within their own agendas.
Click on Google search and type out "solo date" or "self-love date," and you will instantly be inundated with articles and blogs, all dedicated to varying degrees and bits of advice on this phenomenon. Varying degrees of this practice arise, from "Solo Polyamory," to being "singleish," but this is not what I intend to focus on in this article. What I would rather discuss is the act itself rather than what the label says about this identity.
So what is this phenomenon?
Well, let's first clarify that this practice isn't at all new. Just like the "selfie," the "solo date" has long been in practice. It just wasn't given an official label until recently with being dispersed all over social media thanks to the past three years of the world quarantining over Covid-19.
Taking from a mainstream source, a "solo date" is part of a self-care regimen with an aim to "replenish our inner well of self." (GQ, 2023)
It's about setting a little bit of time out of our busy days to ourselves. It's treating ourselves to an activity of our preference--a moment where we are free to engage in our own passions. It's time to refresh, heal ourselves, and find a little bit of peace and happiness amongst all the commotion we encounter on a daily.
Going anywhere alone can be daunting at first. I had encountered that fear and still do face it--most notably when it calls for going to restaurants alone. I would find the crowds, the groups of people eating together, a little overwhelming. And whether it happened or not, I always felt their eyes on me, and I would feel embarrassed. It's often just our imagination, and it's not like we would see those folks again.
After seeing that Instagram story, I began going to the movies alone. I have always been fascinated by films and enjoyed watching and analyzing them. It was a perfect escape into a world based on imagination, encapsulated with wondrous visuals that manifested outside books which was another thing I enjoyed. Whatever movie it was that piqued my interest, no longer did I feel it necessary to ask someone to accompany me. In fact, sometimes, watching movies alone allows you to go at your own pace for the rest of the day. I watched Aftersun, then Close, One Fine Morning, and most recently, Love Again in the cinemas.
Putting this into practice has improved my mental health. It has given me more time to recharge, reorganize my values, and clear my head. I rediscovered my passion for film and have taken steps to grow in that field, such as dedicating small portions of my free time to writing about film. But film was just the beginning. It opened doors for me to allocate time for my other favorite activities: reading, amongst other artistic endeavors.
This is just my experience, but the outcome can truly benefit and occur to anyone. I urge you to try out solo dates. Dress up, take yours
elf out to dinner, go to a gallery or a concert, go spend a day out in the park under the sun, or go on a solo trip! It's nearing summer after all.
To get you started, Here are some links to solo date ideas:
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